How To Love Your Small Boobs

DISCLAIMER: None of the images used in this blog post belong to me unless specifically noted.

As women, one of the things that matter to us is our femininity. And, personally, for me, at one point in my life, that came from the size of my boobs. As a teenager, I saw that guys were obsessed with boobs and I saw with my own eyes that girls with bigger boobs than me had more attention from them. The media also seemed to tell me that having big boobs and butt, having long lashes, plump lips, and pretty fingernails made a woman a woman; therefore, growing up, that was what I believed defined or at least established femininity.

A few weeks ago, I stumbled on this Reddit post and even though it’s old (posted 1 year ago), it resonated with me and inspired today’s blog post.

According to this post (which you can access by clicking here), a guy was asking people on the Am I the Asshole section of Reddit if he was, in fact, an asshole because his girlfriend had asked if he was “okay with her having a flat chest” and he had responded with something along the lines of “no, I’m not attracted to [you] because of your small boobs and that is why I have [you] face the other way while we have sex.” 

Yes, if you don’t believe me, you can read the post yourself. 

Reactions and emotions aside, upon reading this post, I felt myself in his girlfriend’s place. If you haven’t figured it out already, the reason I connect with the girlfriend is because I, too, am a flat-chested girl. As a result of not being well-endowed in that area, I grew up feeling ashamed and embarrassed of having small boobs from my pre-teenage years to well until recently in my mid-20s. 

The post also made me remember the few times when my small boobs made it into some pretty life-changing conversations that made me more self-conscience about my size and almost hate my body at one point in my life. One notable memory was when I was a middle school student. I had been standing in front of a girl who was a friend of my best friend at the time. We were signing up for something that day; I don’t remember what it was, but she was in charge of the list. Because she was sitting and I was standing near the table, of course, she was eye-level to my chest and decided to comment about it.

I will never forget what she said to me that day.

“My God, Donuts, you have small boobs.”

At the time, I was only a pre-teen; I think maybe 12 years old? But that was the day that I became more aware of my breast size and the shape of my body. It was also the day that I began researching about my body, height (I’m not that tall either), and boob size. Only God knows how many times I Googled

• “when do boobs start growing,”
• “how much can my boobs grow,”
• “when do boobs stop growing,” or
• “how to make my boobs bigger”

Article after article, people assured me that I had time to grow them until I was 18 or maybe even 25, as if breasts were like the brain. In fact, if you’re really desperate, they’ll come in when you’re pregnant. But now past 25, never ever having been pregnant, my boobs are still the same size as when I was 12. 

Late last year (2019) after Thanksgiving, I went to my hair dresser for a trim. Now, my hair dresser is a funny and awesome woman. I enjoy my hair cuts because of her. Every time I come in, we always talk about boys and dating, which–if you can’t already tell from my blog–are topics of passion for me. I can talk about them both all day, every day. And one of the conversations we had that day was what type of guys am I interested in.

I’m not shy about it; as an Asian American woman, I am attracted to and have a preference for Asian guys. I grew up in an Asian and Hispanic immigrant community; was immersed in Chinese, Vietnamese, and Korean dramas and music; and personally speaking, I love the tan skin tone many Asian men have as well as our shared cultural background. After I had told my hair dresser what my dating preference is, she leaned down to whisper in my ear and said, “here’s your problem though, honey. Asian men like big boobs” and obviously, I don’t have any. She then told me I should go for white guys because they are split over that department. There should be someone in that group who would like my small boobs and me since Asian guys won’t. Or don’t.

That fear and doubt only worsened when I finally had sex for the first time with my date and the same thing happened again: a conversation about my small boobs. We had been cuddling with each other when he had pulled the blanket off of me. The first thing he had said after that was

“you don’t have any boobs.”

At that moment, I didn’t want to show my insecurity, so I played it off and joked, “yeah, I’ve been told they’re like mosquito bites.” He laughed with me (or at me? Who knows?), but deep down, I was hurt that it needed to be pointed out. It made me think that what my hair dresser had said was indeed true. My ex-date was Asian and he didn’t seem to be happy that I was small there. Since there was no attention given to them while we messed around, that was a clue to what he was really attracted to. So then, I began to fear that I may never find an Asian guy who would be sexually attracted to me. I didn’t feel feminine or sexy. Moreover, I was starting to doubt ever finding love and happiness. All because of my small boobs.

What is the point of me telling you all this?

Well, for starters, as a woman who has lived 25+ years in this body with small boobies, I know what it is like to have and grow up with these insecurities, to wallow in shame and self-consciousness, and to even hate yourself.

I can never tell you all the times I felt sad in the girls’ locker room when changing for P.E.; you’re reminded almost daily that your tiny tits are nothing compared to girls with sizable ones that jiggle proudly and fully. I will never forget all the times in 7th grade when I begged and pleaded with my mom to buy me a bra; she had thought it was useless to get me one when I didn’t have anything. Or all the times I felt hurt reading Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume and feeling those words come to life when Margaret was told by her friend, Nancy, to chant “I must, I must, I must increase my bust,” a small prayer for bigger boobs.

Between ages 22 and 24, realizing that I hadn’t flirted with guys in years, hadn’t been in a real relationship ever, and fearing the loss of my youth, I began feeling incredibly depressed and unsexy, thinking I was not womanly or feminine enough, and that no guys would ever like me or find me attractive, especially with my small boobs. That fear translated into my Google search history which began being plagued with questions such as,

• “do guys like girls with small boobs?”
• “do guys like small boobs?”
• “what kind of boobs do guys like?”
• “do small boob girls have a chance at love?”
• “are guys attracted to girls with small boobs?”
• “what do guys think of girls with small boobs?”
• “are girls with small boobs look sexy?”

You get the idea.

I scoured Quora, Reddit, GirlsAskGuys, Yahoo Answers, just anything for information, for different opinions, for any sort of comfort. It was totally disastrous and awful to my mental state, self-esteem, and self-confidence.

I want to say now, though, that I am in a better place today than I was back then. I have now come to accept my body and these small boobs. Thus, I want to share how I got here, where I am today, with other people who have been or are undergoing the same struggles as I did. 

First of all, I began to embrace

BODY POSITIVITY

Instead of retreating into myself and wallowing in self-pity and self-hatred, I looked outward into the world to find positivity and love for bodies that look like mine. 

I have also come to realize that the most important person who should love your body is not men, or your boyfriend, or anyone else for the matter, but YOU! I will get into that (self-love) in a different post another day, but for anyone who still thinks it matters to be attractive to men, here are two things that will make your day:

1. There are Boob Guys; and then there are Ass Guys

Heck, there are even Legs Guys. However, if you don’t have any boobs, you can ALWAYS work on your butt (and legs, too!) and attract the Ass-Loving (or Legs-Loving) Guys.

This year in 2020, I have grown my booty plenty. How? Boy, do I got some wonderful recommendations for you!

Let me introduce you guys to two of my favorite Fitness YouTubers:

• Chloe Ting and
• Pamela Reif

They are two very beautiful and extremely fit women with workout regimens that target weight loss and yes, BOOTY growth. Here are my favorite videos from Pamela Reif that I have, personally, used myself this year (and even last year!) to grow my booty. Although, I have to admit, I already had a big booty growing up (yes, I am pear-shaped).

Video from YouTube

Video from YouTube

For Chloe Ting, she has several videos all compiled together on one convenient website page titled: Chloe Ting’s 5 Weeks Booty Challenge which you can find here.

Just a warning, while both girls are intense and talented, Pamela is on her own level. Chloe Ting gives small breaks in between types of exercises. In contrast, Pamela Reif powers through them all with minimal breaks. I hope you guys love these girls as much as I do!

Additionally, if you do not believe that Asian Ass-Loving Men exist, they actually do (*gasp*)! My cousin and uncle-in-law have admitted to me that (oh God, this sounds a bit weird to say) big booties are more important to them than big boobs because they like facing the women while putting their hands down there. So yeah…. some great conversations have been made and some significant results have been discovered. There are Asian men who are into butts!!! Therefore, don’t be discouraged!

2. There is a “Small Tits”/”Small Boobs” category in porn 

Yes, there is. Now, you can do the honors of Googling and researching that yourself, but it is actually a real, legitimate category!

In fact, on Reddit, there is a section dedicated to women with small boobs posting pictures of their chest on there and getting men to like and give and/or voice their approval. So trust me, you are still attractive and will be loved by men who can (and do) appreciate your small twins. There’s still hope for you all/us all! ;D

That aside, I want to tell you all that the media has a powerful effect and influence on our minds. So look to celebrities and people in power with a platform for encouragement and body positivity. This is what I meant earlier by turning outward from the negativity in your mind to search for positive energy in the world that will help you better embrace and find love for yourself and your body.

Some of the people I look to for motivation and for both a self-esteem and self-confidence boost when I have doubts about my small boobs are:

• singers such as Ariana Grande and Taylor Swift;
• model Kendall Jenner;
• and actress Kiera Knightley

Not only are all these women beautiful and successful, they also have small boobs!!! They show us all that we can still be gorgeous, talented, and accomplished women even with our small boobs. Follow them and see that the world can and does celebrate women with small boobs. There is a place for girls and women like us! We can be feminine and sexy! We can be fabulous and amazing! We can be loved and adored! We can have it all and be it all!

SIDE NOTE: Again, if it still matters to girls and women who care about men’s opinions, just look at all the guys who date Ariana and Taylor! There are dozens of guys who love their body and line up to date them! See, no need to worry ;D

You can even look at YouTubers, too! Two of my favorites are Leenda/Linda Dong of LeendaDProductions and Anna Akana. In fact, Leenda/Linda has written a skit about small boobs problems which you can find here or on her channel LeendaDProductions.

Image from Daily Mail

Image from My Face Hunter

As for Anna Akana, she used to have small boobs, but actually got a breast augmentation (A.K.A. a boob job). You can click on this link here for confirmation of that claim. Her personal journey and decision with this procedure will help me transition to the next part of my post: boob jobs. 

I am NOT against boob jobs / breast augmentations / increasing breast size cosmetically. I am all about and all for self-love and self-confidence. And I firmly believe that women should have a right to take charge of their own bodies because it is theirs, which means that they should be allowed to make all decisions about and regarding their bodies for self-empowerment and self-love purposes. Or heck, even for just no reason at all!

That said, if by having a breast augmentation makes a woman feel much better about her body, helps her love herself more, and/or boosts her confidence in herself all around as a person, I am for it! No matter what, it is her body and she has a right (and every right!) to do whatever she pleases to it; therefore, whatever she wants and needs to do to it to make herself happy, she should go for it! And do it for herself. No one else’s opinions or input should matter, but her own!

So for any woman out there who want to do it (breast augmentations), but are hesitant about it because you fear other people’s opinions, just do it! Who cares what other people say or have to say! If YOU want it and/or need it to help YOU feel happier and more content with YOURSELF and YOUR body, do it! Go for it, girl! Do it for yourself. Do it for your mentality. Do it for your happiness! Regardless of other people’s judgment, opinions, criticism, and/or rebuke.

Like I said earlier, up above,

at the end of the day, what matters most is YOUR opinion about YOUR body.

It is YOUR body and YOUR life; hence, do whatever it is or whatever YOU want to make YOURSELF happy.

Think about and realize the following:

• You’re going to be the one living in your body
• You’re going to be the one dealing with your life, living with your mentality, and
• You work hard for your money

as a result, YOU should make the decisions about YOU. Everything about you. Your happiness, your body, your life.

No one else should matter. That includes parents, spouses, significant others, family, relatives, and best friends. Their opinions should not matter (UNLESS it’s for your safety!!!). Remember, we are only free to be happy for ourselves if we remove the chains of opinions from those around us. Do not be a slave to other people’s criticism; you’ll oftentimes find yourself unhappy if you do listen to them, so do yourself a favor and don’t.

Video from YouTube

Okay with that topic done, I now would like to talk about

Dressing Up Your Body

You know, the cool thing about being women and girls is that we don’t really dress to impress men. At least we don’t need to. A majority of the time, we dress to make ourselves feel cute and look cute. Feel good and look good.

This is what I mean: don’t you have that cute outfit somewhere in your drawer or closet that when you wear it, you just feel like a BOSS? If you don’t have something like that, I strongly recommend you go find one.

Go shopping and find something that just makes you just burst with happiness, “sparks joy” (as Marie Kondo says), and/or gets your face to light up at the mere thought of it. You should have something that when you pull it out–even before wearing it!–it already makes you feel BOMB. Even before you rock it. Every girl/woman needs an outfit like that, that just makes her feel that good!

Now, I’m going to extend that idea here. As girls/women with small boobs, not only should we look for people in the media to help us love ourselves and our beautiful bodies, we should also look for clothes that make us feel the same way. We should search for clothes that make us feel sexy, confident, happy, gorgeous, amazing, and just plain awesome! Therefore, I really recommend finding clothes that complement our figure, make us feel daring, and/or have us wanting to flaunt our small girls/twins.

Some suggestions?

• plunging neckline tops
• halter tops
• crop tops
• tube tops
• spaghetti straps
• tank tops

Still too shy to show your small boobs off? Draw the attention to someplace else!

• Try showing off your shoulders with shoulder-less tops and dresses
• Or your arms with tank tops like the picture above (you might want to tone and work out your arms though!)
• Backless shirts and dresses look elegant on us along with updos!
• Show off your legs with overalls, pairing huge sweaters with short shorts, kicking on some flashy shoes!

Besides just dressing up, you can also just come to terms with and embrace your small boobs. Love and cherish them by looking at the positives or the pros of having small boobs. Here’s my personal list:

• You can go braless!
  • If you wear a hoodie or T-shirt, no one will ever know if you have a bra on and if your nipples are showing, especially with dark colors. You don’t need to worry about constraining metal wires being underneath your girls making you feel trapped or uncomfortable. 
• You can run without feeling heavy up top or having something swinging all the time as you move (aerodynamics?). And you don’t have to worry about having back problems!
  • Now, I am not bashing women who have big breasts. Come on, I used to be envious of them! But just like how there are pros and cons for nearly every situation in life, although many girls who have bigger boobs than us get more male attention, they also have to deal with trying to carry the weight; being seen as attractive based on their boob size; and trying to find clothes that fit them.

Here’s a comedic take for Big Boobs Problems from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend:

Video from YouTube

• Another pro to small boobs is that we’re generally perky there.
  • So we don’t really have to worry about sagging or wrinkles as we age. 
  • Plus, we oftentimes look more youthful the older we get!
• Again, if you’re daring, you can just show off your nipples!
  • If you wear certain clothes, showing off your nipples can be sexy. In fact, I don’t think your guy friends or boyfriend/spouse/partner will complain if your nipples are poking out when wearing certain tops or dresses (*wink wink*). Wear white and add a little water-splashing there and I guarantee there will be some explosively fun times to follow. ;D
• You can really compete in sports.
  • Track, soccer, basketball, and badminton are awesome when you can focus on winning rather than how heavy your boobs are as you run to compete or chase the ball or birdie.
• Laying on your stomach is also no big deal if you don’t have things preventing yourself from lying flat and all the way down.
• Lastly, as I mentioned above, and again not bashing women blessed with bigger boobs, but we don’t have to struggle with finding bigger clothes or stress about clothes that don’t fit us or make us look “trashy” (whatever that means. I heard that somewhere).
  • Most of the time, plunging necklines paired with updoes can make us look elegant and pixie-like. 

We have now arrived at my final, favorite, and most sacred secret to loving your small boobs. One of the most important assets you can ever have in life is a powerful mindset and I would love to give that to all of my readers today. Believe in yourself and love yourself. I know it’s hard. I struggled for YEARS to love me. Only after I followed all the tips I wrote for you guys up above, did I only start to love my small boobs and myself, overall, as a person. And the key, that first step toward that goal, toward that change, was that I had to change my mindset.

Poet and civil rights activist, Maya Angelou said:

“If you can’t change [something], change your attitude.”

I can’t change my small boobs because

• one, I can’t afford it and
• two, I don’t want to

So what did I do? I changed my attitude. My mentality. My perception. HOW I saw my small boobs. 

And how did I do that? One of my friends told me that boobs are literally sacks of fat.

Yes, I said it. 

SACKS.

OF. 

FAT. 

When you put or think of boobs that way, everything starts to feel and look silly.

Ladies, aren’t we more than just sacks of fat?

You know, as women, I know one of our biggest concerns is our weight. Society likes to judge us on whether or not we’re too fat or too skinny to fit into society’s standards of beauty. We’ve been taught to always lose weight and shed off fat.

Therefore, WHY should we want to have a lot of fat there in our chest? When you see your boobs as just literal sacks of fat, you start questioning everything. And then you start to think:

• Why should we define ourselves based on how much fat we have behind our nipples?
• Why should our entire worth, whether we are womanly or feminine or even sexy enough, be based on how much fat we have there?
• Why should we be reduced into becoming sexual objects that are only attractive based on if our genetics (which is out of our control, by the way!) decided/determined whether our boobs would be big or small?

When you change your way and line of thinking and see your boobs as just sacks of fat, you start to realize just how ridiculous it is to define yourself and your entire worth based on sacks of fat. Or how much fat you have there or behind your nipple. Fat that you want to lose (or at least should want because it’s fat!) when exercising or trying to lose weight, but yet you somehow want it there in your chest.

More importantly, as women, we are better than that. Much better.

As women, we are more valuable and are worth more than just our boobs.

We are individuals; actual living, breathing human beings who are capable of much more than being defined by fat sacks. We shouldn’t let men or society tell us what our worth is. Define, choose, and take charge of your own worth. Decide what your worth is. Don’t let it be decided by someone else. Don’t let someone else have that power over you.

I, personally, believe that your worth comes from:

• who you are as a person
• your actions, accomplishments, purpose, talents, choices, and your presence
• how you treat other people
• whether or not you are loved, respected, and cherished by others, and
• how people feel when they interact with you or are in your presence

Let’s put it all into perspective. Think of it this way: we will all die one day, right? Now, do you want to be remembered long after you’re dead? Or forgotten? If you do want to be remembered after your death, just

HOW do you want to be remembered?

When I think about death and legacy, my mind comes to people–women, such as Whitney Houston and Ruth Bader Ginsburg (A.K.A RBG). These are two women who have both already died, but have left their mark on and in the world long after they have gone.

Image from RollingStone

When these women died, though, did people remember them for the size of their breasts?

When you think of Whitney Houston, what do you remember her for? Who was she? Do you remember her for her boobs? Do you even know her boob size? I am confident the answer is no.

I know I remember her as a talented, beautiful woman who had and was blessed with amazingly powerful vocal chords. Whenever I remember her, I think about all the songs she used to sing which uplifted my spirits and always never failed to make me feel happy or want to dance.

As for RBG, I remember her as an extraordinarily gifted lawyer and a Supreme Court Justice who was articulate, intelligent, and compassionate. That incredible woman made me feel like nothing in the world was impossible or unachievable for me just because I am a woman. She helped many women realize that we are just as capable as and that we are equal to men. Furthermore, she broke down barriers for women and opened doors for everyone after her, whether women, men, nonbinary, LGBTQ+, etc. 

Both these women were known for their accomplishments and they are loved and remembered for them; not for their body or breast size, but for their endeavors, talents, and achievements. This is what I firmly believe and fervently wish for all my readers. For you to be loved, adored, cherished, and remembered beyond your body. It is but just a shell.

Although, love your body, embrace it, and DON’T let anyone degrade it or YOU; don’t let them or give them permission to put you or your body down and do so without YOUR permission because it is YOUR body. YOU own it and are its protector. Thus, act like it. Be its fiercest protector.

Find your purpose and follow my tips, and if you got any additional advice or suggestions, please let me know! Additionally, if you’re brave enough or have time to spare, please share with me your experiences, too, if you have small boobs or know someone with small boobs.

If you guys are interested in listening to the podcast/audio version of this blog post, you can do so by clicking here! A summary of what we discussed today will now follow. Hope it helps you!

Summary: How to Love Your Small Boobs

1. Embrace Body Positivity
   • realize that the media you consume everyday (e.g. social media, movies, etc.) is an important influence in shaping your perception of your body
   • find people you admire and respect who look like you and are successful, they’ll help you realize you have limitless potential and will help you on your journey to loving your boobs and body
2. YOUR opinion matters most
   • You shouldn’t care about anyone else’s opinion, but your own
   • Focus on only making YOU happy in life because it’s yours. You’re the one living it!
3. Realize that there are men who like small boobs, not just big boobs
   • there’s a place for us in the world; yes, even on porn
   • you can also work out your legs and grow your butt
4. Breast augmentation is an option and there should be no shame for it if you do choose to do it
5. Dress up body
   • find clothes that complement your body and make you feel good
   • see above for suggestions!
6. See the pros to having small breasts
   • make a list!
   • see above for mine!
7. Have strong mentality
   • realize that boobs are literally just sacks of fat
   • know that you are more than fat sacks
   • focus on your purpose, drive, and value; make a difference somewhere or in someone’s life so when you inevitably pass away one day, people will remember you for who you are and not your breast size