Disclaimer: The featured image for this blog post is from DoBetterTV’s Twitter page. None of the images or videos used in this post belong to me. I do not own anything but the words and opinions of this post. Please go support the Do Better webseries and Darboe Productions!

This will be the final part of my “Support Black Creators: Watch the Do Better Webseries” blog post.

Here is a list of all the topics we have discussed (or will discuss) and reasons why you should watch the Do Better webseries:

1. Systems of Oppression. And Racism?
2. Were They a Bit Harsh to the White Guy?
3. Asian Women Fetishization
4. Asian Women and Black Women Dating White Men
5. Sexism in Medical/Health Practices
6. Cheating
7. Romantic Relationship Issues
8. Dating vs Fucking
9. Censorship
10. Racial Inequalities
11. BIPOC Friendships
12. Cultural Appropriation

You can click on each reason on the list above to be taken to their respective post where they are discussed in more detail. Reason 7-12 will be discussed in this post.

Now, let’s talk about the final few reasons to watch the webseries!

7. Romantic Relationship Issues

I love that each character has their own individual romantic relationship journey going on for them and that the spectrum of sexuality is represented in the series. Malika and Justin are married to each other; April and Tom are both single and still looking; Brenda is in the middle of dating someone long-term (SPOILER: although now, things have ended). As for Priscilla, I am waiting for more of her character to be revealed and fleshed out. From what is already seen, Tom is gay while it appears that the others are heterosexual. Again, I can’t speak for Priscilla yet.

I also enjoyed that each type of romantic relationship has its own issues on display. For instance, although married, Justin isn’t doing a good job supporting Malika with chores or being there for her. Marriage is hard because it takes constant effort. Romance and love sometimes fades in a relationship so it takes time, dedication, and commitment to keep that spark alive in a couple’s life together.

One of the life lessons that I learned from my college Drama professor is that surprises keep the mystery, spark, chemistry, and love alive and burning in a romantic relationship. Just do anything out of the ordinary (or that is different from your usual boring daily routine) to keep the magic present and to make yourself still interesting to your partner.

This would also be a good time and place to remind people (as a courtesy from the Do Better webseries) that:

You NEVER stop dating your partner after marriage. Don’t ever get comfortable! You need to consistently pay attention to your partner’s life and needs; support their passions; and work for their love. Pay attention to them! Don’t think that vows and the ring seals the deal forever.

Disclaimer: Working for your partner’s love does not mean that you are a doormat or that you should kiss the ground they walk on. It simply means you continue trying to attract your partner’s attention like you are still dating them.

Marriage is not a transaction. It’s not a “yes to love,” “yes to a life together,” and “yes to forever,” and it’s done and over. It is an ongoing commitment, requires an immense amount of effort, and is extremely hard work.

Love changes with time, so Justin needs to realize that and get back in the game to impress Malika and make her happy or he risks losing her, like he is if she is turning to cheating. This is not me saying, though, that what she did to him was not wrong nor am I saying that her cheating is his fault–oh no! What she did was horrible!! However, I am saying that I get where she is coming from.

He, as her husband, stood her up and chose his gaming and summer break time for himself to relax–which he is entitled to do. BUT!

A huge

BUT!

When he married her, he promised to commit to her, too.

And that means you can put the controller down for a couple hours and take your wife out for lunch or go on a date with her a few times during the summer break. Additionally, he could also help her clean up around the house or get to know her more–these two last issues we saw being her main complaints during her therapy sessions.

Besides marriage problems, the audience also gets to witness the struggles of being single, seen through April’s dating adventures. Being single is hard. There’s a sea of potential suitors, but it’s so hard to find someone you can connect with, who doesn’t use you for only sex, and who you are compatible with.

And with Brenda, we see the struggle of being monogamous and not cheating in a long term relationship (clarification: Brenda isn’t cheating or questioning monogamy).

8. Dating vs Fucking

In one intense moment during dinner, the friends start bickering and April and Malika debate about whether or not fucking is dating. I thought that that was an interesting conversation because as a person who has a passion for relationship topics, I know that sex is definitely a key factor in relationships. However, it is not THE only factor. 

Sure, during dating, you should (or could) have sex with your partner before marriage/committing because after marriage/commitment, you don’t want to be stuck with something called the Dead Bedroom problem. You know, one of the main issues in relationships when life gets in the way or when partners start making excuses for not having sex because they’re tired, the sex life is boring, or sex just is a chore at that point.

You need to explore and find someone who is compatible with your libido. Although, it is not the only factor in a happy relationship, sex is still an essential component. Therefore, do what you must to find a partner who matches your sex drive during dating.

However, I also feel like fucking should not be the only determining factor to get with someone or not. Sure, he/she is AMAZING at sex. But are they COMPATIBLE with you, your personality, and your lifestyle? Do they align with your values, beliefs, and virtues? Who are they outside of the bedroom? That matters too. In contrast, if they stink at sex, but are just an incredible person all around, would that stop you from being committed to them?

Bottom line: I’m sure April knows what she’s doing, but she and Malika brought up a great debate topic.

9. Censorship

Now, this topic is not part of the Do Better webseries, but it came up during a live panel where the cast and crew addressed fan questions. And one question they received was about censorship. Should they censor their content for fear of offending or not resonating with their predominantly-white audience? You can check out that video below:

Video from YouTube

First of all, I do not believe in censoring art. Art is a reflection of our world; it is a commentary of our society, human experience, and issues in the environment around us. It is our voice, an expression of our perceptions and opinions, and provides an invaluable view of what we see and live through as human beings.

More specifically, though, censoring art, especially one from a usually marginalized group–BIPOC, who are not the norm–should never be done because they have been ignored, undervalued, and underrepresented for too long. It’s time the world heard these stories. It’s time the world hears our stories. Through our eyes. Live life through our crafted worlds.

And while we’re on this topic, exactly why should our stories even be censored? What?!! Because it poses questions or brings up topics/issues/situations that might offend someone? Offend some white people?! Pfft, all the better that it should be out there. Yes, this is exactly why our stories, such stories, stories such as Do Better, should be produced, made, and distributed!

Art offends to draw attention, to start a conversation, to bring a change.

To Kill A Mockingbird is art that questions racism. Parasite is art that illustrates social status and class gaps. Just Mercy demonstrates how unfair and discriminatory our justice system can be for Black Americans.

Art offers an alternative view, a different side to the story, an additional voice, a different experience, a challenge to the status quo, and can bring a a change…or at least pushes for the first step to do so. It is necessary. It should be acceptable. And it definitely should not be shut down and/or censored. 

John Elvis (the actor for Tom) is right when he spoke during the panel. Why should we as BIPOC censor ourselves to fit into a cookie cutter type of mold? Why should we limit the stories we can share with the world for fear of offending or not resonating with a few people? What about other people who might resonate with the story? What if other BIPOC people connect with the story and characters? Does that not matter then? We shouldn’t have a right to see or consume such art just because white people are the gatekeepers for what gets produced, made, and shared? That does not sound right to me.

Ryan Darbonne (who also spoke in the video above at the 1:20 minute mark as a moderator for the panel) also made an excellent point. We should not be like the people in the 70s, 80s, and the 90s and be classists.

Storytelling should not be only produced by people who have a lot of money. Stories about other people and their experiences should also be told, known to, and heard by the world. People who are minorities in America should be able to have the chance to produce, make, and share their stories too.

Art should be a real reflection of our society.

Thus, we should not only hear stories from and about just the rich and/or white people and/or the elite. That does not give a full scope of society’s views nor does it acknowledge the diversity of our world. BIPOC, LGBTQ+, and other people who are marginalized / minorities / underrepresented should have the opportunity to tell stories and share their voice, vision, and talent as well.

10. Racial Inequalities

The series also did a PHENOMENAL job on speaking up about one huge issue in today’s society: racial inequalities. For instance, on the way over to Liam’s house, Justin notes that Liam lives in a “white-ass hood” and that he and Tom are just walking down the streets of such a place “like we ain’t of color,” hinting at the housing disparities and the gap in socioeconomic classes between them, both BIPOC, and Liam, a white man.

Tom and Justin are also shocked to find that Liam lives comfortably on his own in a nice house with a great porch. On the other hand, Justin and Tom share a place with their other four BIPOC friends, most likely to share the expensive cost of living in urban areas.

If that isn’t enough evidence for the gap between their salaries and social status, when it is Malika and April’s turn to hang out with Liam at Brenda’s request, they find out that he is able to afford an expensive spa treatment on a weekly basis as a way to treat himself. Meanwhile, Malika and her husband (Justin–who is also a teacher like Liam, by the way) can afford such a type of spending on an annual basis for special occasions only. For example, for wedding anniversaries or something of that sort.

Liam then proceeds to explain that during his twenties, he had money to invest which paid off in his thirties (I assume). Malika then notes that she wishes she had money in her twenties to invest like he did. This again shows the disparities between Liam’s–a white man’s–life in America versus BIPOC’s.

In general, most BIPOC come from poorer (or not well-to-do) communities or are from families where money is (usually always) tight. In most cases, we BIPOC are never in situations where money is easily or readily available. Nor do we have plenty of occasions where we have bountiful amounts of money for us to invest for the future and for us to reap the rewards of that opportunity later on. Oftentimes, the money BIPOC receive or earn are used right away to feed our families and to pay for rent, rather than to invest and profit off of or from in the future.

11. BIPOC Friendships

As I mentioned in Post 1, the friendships I saw in Do Better mirrored the friendships I, myself, had in college. It is so rare to see BIPOC friendships on the screen. I love being able to follow and connect with a story where Blacks and Asians are best friends with each other and the story is focused on their journey and interactions with each other. It’s not all white people you see on the screen.

In America, we’re always bogged down with messages about how this country is a place of diversity; yet the television screen and media sporadically shows such reflections of that diversity they always claim America is made up of. Now, we actually get a series that displays such diversity, which I think is totally awesome, refreshing, and exciting!

12. Cultural Appropriation

Tom and Justin’s walk to Liam’s house also delivered another wonderful conversation topic: cultural appropriation.

Tom was fawning over Sam Smith and Justin said that he was just another white guy using Soul music and claiming that it is Pop. YouTuber Pierre XO made a good point about cultural appropriation, specifically about appropriating Black culture like Justin implied: “Everybody want to be black until it’s time to be Black.” You can hear his take on it in this video below at the 18:42 minute mark.

Video from YouTube

Think of the movie Get Out and it’s story line and symbolism. People enjoy things from Black culture: music, clothes, language. Until it is time to be Black–facing racism on a daily basis doing minor things, getting pulled over, being called 911 on, and even being murdered. It’s not right to profit off of it and it is a problem everywhere. For instance, Iggy Azalea’s and Macklemore’s rapping, Justin Timberlake’s R&B music, and so much more. Black culture isn’t the only thing appropriated. Asian culture is, too; however, that is a conversation for another day.

Now go ahead and head straight on over to Darboe Production’s YouTube or personal page to watch and support the series! I’ll even provide the link to the first episode right here. Remember, the series has only six episodes with each being about less than 10-11 minutes. I promise you it flies by fast! Let me know what you guys think of the series and these topics I discussed in the comments below! If you have not seen Part 1 and Part 2 of this blog post, please just click on the links. Join the conversation and talk with me 🙂